This article explores the crucial skill of advocacy in difficult conversations, building upon previous discussions of mutual respect, purpose, inquiry, and curiosity. Advocacy is presenting your perspective, clarifying your position without dismissing others.
When advocating your viewpoint, consider: “From your perspective, I understand how you might see me as not a team player. However, I believe I am. When I raise concerns about a project, it’s with the project’s long-term success in mind. I don’t intend to be critical, though it may sound that way. Perhaps we could discuss how to address these issues to ensure my intentions are clear.”
Key tips for effectively sharing your side:
* **Allow Full Expression:** Wait until the other person has fully expressed themselves before offering your perspective. Confirm they have finished.
* **Maintain Purpose:** Remember the goal of the conversation. It’s easy to stray, react emotionally, and lose sight of your objective. Reconnect with your purpose.
* **Avoid Assumptions:** When sharing your story, proceed slowly, be clear, and avoid assuming the other person understands your viewpoint.
* **Inform, Don’t Persuade:** Resist the urge to “sell” your story. Simply present your perspective objectively.
* **Use Empathetic Language:** Be mindful of your language to avoid triggering defensiveness. Choose words that promote listening.
* **Focus on Facts:** Share verifiable facts instead of subjective interpretations. For example, “You walked by without saying anything” is a fact, while “You ignored me” is an interpretation.
Most importantly, communicate with respect. Just as in Aikido, where partners bow before and after each technique, approach conversations with a similar sense of respect. If you feel yourself losing composure, remember this principle. Effective advocacy is rooted in respecting the other person’s narrative.
Practice these techniques for better communication!