As my friend approached the end of her life, realizing her time was limited, she shared invaluable wisdom that profoundly changed my perspective. She implored me not to repeat her regrets, urging me to live a life filled with purpose and joy. At her request, I recorded her final thoughts, which I share now in condensed form:
1. **Listen more, talk less:** Prioritize understanding over being heard.
2. **Embrace generational stories:** Listen intently to elders, particularly your grandfather. Their memories will become cherished connections after they’re gone.
3. **Welcome connection over perfection:** Invite friends over, regardless of your home’s tidiness. Companionship is more important than appearances.
4. **Enjoy simple pleasures:** Indulge in simple joys like eating popcorn in the living room, even if it creates a mess.
5. **Value friendships with families:** Open your home to friends with children, embracing the chaos and joy they bring.
6. **Connect with nature:** Sit on the grass, unconcerned about getting your clothes dirty. Experience the simple connection with the earth.
7. **Prioritize value over longevity:** Avoid purchasing items solely for their durability or practicality. Seek items that spark joy and enhance your life.
8. **Rest and recover:** When ill, prioritize rest and allow yourself time to heal without feeling obligated to maintain your usual routine.
9. **Embrace the present:** Use and enjoy beautiful items, like candles, instead of saving them for a ‘special’ occasion that may never come.
10. **Share burdens and joys:** Share life’s responsibilities with a partner, not just financial burdens, but also emotional support and shared dreams.
11. **(For Women) Cherish pregnancy:** Embrace every moment of pregnancy, recognizing the unique opportunity to participate in the creation of life.
12. **Encourage affection:** Allow children to freely express their love through hugs and kisses, without constant restrictions.
13. **Express love and remorse:** Say “I love you” and “I am sorry” frequently and sincerely.
14. **Focus on inner peace:** Stop worrying about the opinions of others, and what others have or lack. Focus on your own journey and contentment.
15. **Nurture relationships:** Treasure and cultivate personal connections with those around you.
16. **Find joy in simple moments:** Play with pets daily, engaging in their antics and sharing laughter.
17. **Invest in meaningful relationships:** Spend quality time with people who genuinely love and support you.
18. **Release trivial anxieties:** Stop stressing over minor details and insignificant problems.
19. **Savor the present:** Embrace each moment fully, recognizing its fleeting nature.
My friend, Susan, a remarkable woman and mother to a six-year-old daughter, imparted these principles. Honoring her memory by living according to her advice has profoundly improved my life, making me a better person, a more loving husband, and overall, a happier individual. I remember her final words: “Jack, you are lucky. Don’t blow it.”