Navigating gift-giving for multiple children, especially during the holidays, can be tricky. It’s natural to feel a stronger connection with one child, making it easier to find the perfect present for them while struggling to choose something equally meaningful for another. Often, perceived differences, such as gender, contribute to this imbalance, creating a sense of discomfort that leads to avoiding the issue altogether. The key is to acknowledge these feelings and use them constructively.
It’s tempting to buy generic gifts to avoid seeming biased, but this can backfire. Accept that you might have a favorite, and that’s okay. Instead of viewing this as a problem, leverage it. If you know exactly what the child you’re closest to wants, go ahead and buy it. That becomes your benchmark. Gifts don’t need to be equal in price to be equally valued. Spending $50 on one gift and $30 on another is perfectly acceptable, as long as the perceived value to each child is comparable. However, avoid extremes like a bike for one and socks for the other.
The ultimate goal is to better understand the child you’re struggling to buy for. Start by spending quality time with them. Observe their interests, even if they don’t align with your own. Maybe she loves dress-up and tea parties, activities you never enjoyed. That’s fine. Simply pay attention to her preferences. Perhaps she needs new art supplies or dreams of redecorating her room in her favorite color. These small details can provide valuable inspiration. Focus on finding a gift she will love, not necessarily one you think is impressive.
If one-on-one time isn’t possible, enlist the help of the child you have a stronger bond with. Ask him for suggestions for his sibling’s gift. Siblings often have surprising insights into each other’s wants and needs, even if they don’t always get along. Parents, especially if they are not your own children, are also invaluable resources. Don’t hesitate to ask for their input. They can offer budget-conscious suggestions. If you’ve already purchased a gift for one child, let them know the approximate cost so they can provide relevant ideas. This is about open communication, not bragging.
If you’re truly stumped, consider buying several smaller gifts. A collection of thoughtful, smaller items increases the likelihood of finding something that resonates with the child. This approach may initially appear as if you are giving one child ‘more,’ but happy children rarely keep score. Something as simple as nail polish, a new dress-up accessory, or other small items can be a delightful and well-received surprise.